bruce2

Because I Like Things a Certain Way

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It’s taken a solid week. A solid week of scraping, huffing goof off and more time with a hot air gun than a professional hair stylist. And, the results of that time spent are finally what I expect from my car.

It’s not perfect. At least, not yet. I have only done an initial cleaning. In this case, that means getting rid of all of the exterior vinyl (yes, the lizards are gone!), cleaning up all of the goo, claybar and polish where the old graphics were, claybar everywhere else and 1 coast of Meguair’s Tech Wax (2 on the boot and bonnet). I can say he is looking pretty sharp so far.

At this point, I’m giving him a grade of ‘good enough’. Prior to heading to Vegas for AMVIV, another polish will be in order, depending on the power of the Arizona sun. There is still a barely visibly line where the clear bra used to be that I’m hoping completely matches in the next few months.

I’m still shocked at the overall state this MINI was in. I have never had to use so much clay on a car in my life. I’ve also not seen clay so dirty after being used, but I used to keep Roxy in really great shape as you know. I’m pretty sure this is the first time this MINI has seen a coat of wax and I’m also sure that it hasn’t been this clean since it left the dealers lot in 2008.

Other than 1 more solid cleaning, there are a few other exterior mods that I am going to do before AMVIV. In short order, the MINI emblem on the bonnet needs to be replaced. I’m also going to install a new set of mirror caps (totally not worth cleaning the clear bra residue from these), and looking into doing something with the side markers. I might get a set of chrome scuttles from OutMotoring and add in the clear side marker lights, or go crazy and do something to this. I haven’t decided yet.

Next big exterior mod will be wheels. Stay tuned!

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On Locks and Switches

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Before reading any further, please note that our boy, db, has yet to read the owners manual of his 2008 MINI Cooper. He swears he’ll get to it, but for now, you get this rant. We tried to stop him. Ed.

There was really something about the first generation MINI that I liked. Actually, a few things. They really made the vehicle unique and relatively easy to use. At least easy to use after you spent the better part of 12 years with it.

  1. Unlocking the boot
    In the R50/R56, unlocking the hatch/boot was a very easy affair. With the key, a double click on the unlock button would do it, or the main door lock toggle switch. A quick flip of that and all doors are unlocked, including the boot and it would open for the loading or unloading of whatever.

    In the R56, I still have yet to figure out how to consistently unlock the hatch. I know I can pop it with it the key, but why doesn’t it unlock from the lock toggle? Speaking of, why do I have to flip that twice to unlock the passenger side door? And, why does it not work if the car was previously locked with the key? If it were consistent, I could figure it out, but it seems to have a mind of it’s own!

  2. Window toggles
    I’m glad that, unlike the F56, my window switches are still in the center stack. I’m really glad that those toggles support 1 touch up and down. Truly awesome features. What I’m not pleased about is the fact that if there is anything in the cup holders, you can’t access the switches. To be honest, I would have rather received a custom coffee mug that fit in cup holders and allowed me to use the switches. This is just dumb. Hard b dumb.

  3. And, finally
    I guess I’m going to have to go to JCWhitney or something, but I really miss the clock that lived on the roof. There is not a way for my car to tell the time that I find convenient or easy to read. I know that, in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty minor, but still. I just want my clock back.

Sure sure sure, I’m way late to all of these parties. I just wanted to make sure I was part of the club. Do we get hats or something?

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Body Work

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This is as far as I have gotten with the clean up. So far, the stripes are gone, as is one of the lizards from the roof. If you are curious, it’s the 6 that I have removed, the 9 still remains. I think.

What you are seeing above is the culmination of 6 hours worth of work. That includes remove the clear bra, cleaning the gunk left behind, removing the stripes, cleaning the entire mess, claybar, polish (Meguir’s #2) and wax. Yes, on the body kit, but only the front end. Oh yea, and half the roof, where the 6 lizard used to be.

It’s clear to me that whomever owned this MINI previously did not take very good care of it. The paint, while in pretty good appearance, is very rough. Clay bar not enough rough, hence the polish. I expect to have it to my standards in about another week.

Also completed is the body kit. Fully installed and, if I can be so bold, it looks really kick ass! Side skirts and rear bumper removed and installed, mostly, by yours truly. Our man Jerry took care of the front and provided guidance/assistance on the rest. Eurotechs is one of the best MINI shops on the west coast, and this is why. Jerry rules.

Oh, the body kit? Photos below. Still phone photos. Once the exterior is all cleaned up as I like, full big camera photo shoot will happen.

The First Mod

Body kit pieces. Install next week after curing. #JCW #mini #paintedarches #suckit

A photo posted by Don Burnside (@donburnside) on

We return to find our hero contemplating his list of mods…

As I have already mentioned on the show, for those of you that haven’t heard it, Bruce’s first mod is almost on the books and that is in the shape of a JCW Body kit. It’s painted and assembled, sitting on the floor at Eurotechs waiting to be installed. I was hoping to have photos for you this week, but that will have to wait until next.

I was able to assist with putting the kit together, mostly. With help, that part took an hour. Looking at the actual install, I’m expecting this to push the limits of my levels of frustration. With the clips and other small, non-standard pieces of plastic that need to go here and everywhere, I can just tell this is going to make me twitch. I’m comforted, slightly, by the fact that Jerry is going to let me install it at the shop and provide supervison/assistance where needed.

Still in the works is graphics removal. I am at the point in the clear bra removal where I want to find the man at 3M responsible for the invention of clear bra. I would like to by him a beer so I can pour it into his lap and smash the glass into his face before I make fun of his dog. Removing this is the worst thing I have ever had to do. I knew it was going to be bad, I had no idea how bad. I can’t recommend against installing clear bra enough. It’s truly a horrible product. It’s ugly, hides the shine of the paint and, when the time comes to actually remove it because it has fully baked to the finish of your car, it’s a serious pain in the dick to remove.

Now that I have that out of my system, let’s list out the next steps in my modifications, shall we?

  1. Wheels
    Once the body kit is installed I’ll determine the size. For now, I’m leaning towards a 17″ wheel. And they will be white. I might do a 16″, maybe.

  2. Suspension
    Once I have the wheels I like, I can determine what I need to do to get the ride height I want. I’m going to stick to lowering springs and upgraded struts instead of coil-overs (since those would be overkill) and a rear sway bar, which might happen sooner than later.

  3. Noise
    I’m liking how quiet this MINI is, but a little more growl would be nice. I’m thinking an intake would help in that department and improve breathing, slightly. I know it won’t be much for power, but that’s not my goal as much. Just a little more feedback when I do use the right pedal.

Wheels and body kit by AMVIV are my goals right now. Springs would be awesome, but not sure if I’ll be able to squeeze those into the budget in time.

Photos after a bath and the body kit install should be up this weekend. I’m really excited to see it and to show you guys!

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What’s in a Name

Finally a name (you say)! Yep (I say).

Of course I understand it has been more than a week, but let me ask you; how long did it take you to come up with a name for your child? For your pet? It wasn’t something that happened immediately I’m guessing, right? Heck, it took me a month to come up with my son’s name.

Roxy was named, as most of you know, after the Concrete Blonde song of the same name. It took me about a week to realize that was the name of my MINI and it stuck. Click the link and have a listen. The chorus, I think, is appropriate.

Oh Roxy, you’re my Maggie May

More beautiful tonight

Than you ever were back in the day

Oh Roxy, your golden boys

Make a beautiful noise after all these years

You still bring tears to my eyes

Everyone has tossed out their suggestions as you would expect. The obvious names first, the I-can’t-pronounce-them Irish names were listed as well. Honestly, I can’t be bothered to find the correct punctuation for some of those. There have been one or two that I like, but they are already being used either locally or on another MINI I know somewhere on the planet.

Anyway, to make a long story even longer, I have decided on a name that was suggested by a friend, playing on the green and nerdalicious comic book lore. Please say hello to Bruce.

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One of the more popular Bruce’s you might recognize.

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H/T to our man Craig in Seattle for figuring it out. He actually visited dbmini on a real computer and discovered the file name in the previous post. Well done good sir. It was actually leaked in a comment on Facebook last week. Now that I have posted about it here, it’s official.