Dear Idiot Drivers1,
I realize it’s been awhile since we’ve had to have this talk, but we are way overdue. You see, I was pretty much unemployed for 2 years so wasn’t driving as often as I used to. It would appear that you have forgotten some of the things that we have spoken about in the past. Please sit back, grab a beverage and review with me.
- Drive the posted speed limit, not 10MPH under it
- Driving + doing anything with your phone is almost illegal everywhere. Assume it’s illegal where you are driving and stop playing with it while you drive
- Pick a lane, stick with it. Please stop driving in 2 lanes at the same time
- When the road starts up a hill, you have to press the accelerator pedal a little more to keep your speed up.
- When entering a highway, please remember it is your responsibility to merge with traffic at the posted limit. It is not traffic’s responsibility to slow down for you2
Honest to robot ninja’s guys. It’s getting really bad out there lately. Yes, you that crossed 5 lanes to traffic for the illegal left turn. You that are apparently out of of blinker juice or have no idea how your turn signals work in the first place. You that continue to drive 30 in a 45. You that are really pissing me off!
If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, if you can’t drive correctly, the rest of us would really appreciate it if you could just stay home. Or ride the bus. Anything as long as it keeps you away from the wheel.
Thank you for your time,
db
2. Big rigs are excluded. Duh. It still amazes me that you can even reach 45 mph entering the highway carrying 4-8 tons of products. Keep up the good work fellas!
7 Responses to “We Need to Talk”
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Thanks for stopping by!
November 11th, 2009 at 10:21 am
A-f’ing-men.
November 11th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I feel your pain…Hang in there, my friend
November 11th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Holy crap, a girl comment on dbmini? Watch out fellas!
Thanks for stopping by Heather!
November 11th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I have two evil trouble spots here in Delaware.
1: Two lanes turning left. Big sign overhead. Far left lane goes to Route 1, right lane goes to I-95. People get into the right lane (for I95) but want to go to Route 1 and should be in the left lane. As soon as the light turns green (after they’ve looked in the rearview to see if I’ve noticed that they haven’t moved yet), they proceed forward and stop, just around the turn. They prevent the rest of the traffic from making it through the light. Grr. (This is where my mini was nearly pushed into traffic by an angry person who felt he should have made it through the light.)
2: Traffic exiting I-95 should be in the right lane. You can’t exit a highway from the second lane. Yet because it always backs up, people ride the second lane all the way to the exit and then try to cut in. Ironically, the backup is due to the people from the second lane trying to jump in. I was run off the road near here by a State cop who was playing with his laptop.
Brilliant.
This is why I don’t own weaponry.
November 11th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Right there with you.
But, if I did? Oh yea, a big ass rocket launcher would be pretty sweet!
November 12th, 2009 at 10:27 am
[...] degree temps in SoCal plus a cough so bad I think I might have cracked a rib or two. Add in a few idiot drivers and suddenly I’m Mr. Crankypants. [...]
November 13th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Ditto for South Florida…